A Quick Rant

Hello lovelies,

I haven't had much time the past week to write anything substantial about endometriosis - having to deal with a collection of things such as study, a death in the family and still getting through the emotional rollercoaster of a break up as well as the side of endo pain has been quite overwhelming to say the least. So take this blog post as a quick update on how everything has been going for me recently.

1. I had my first cervical smear last Friday, and the nurse was so fantastic and explained to me how the process works and the possible outcomes of the test (and thank God it came back normal). She had read over all my notes and commented on her sympathy for all women with endometriosis which was actually really nice to hear and nearly made me tear up. Now for the gruesome and extremely personal side of this and what my experience was like with my first smear. I have to say that I was extremely intrigued by the 'broom' that was used by the nurse. It seemed like the brushes of the 'broom' were really soft and kind of like the silicone baking brush that you use to smother butter over the top of pastry with. Since I am sexually active I had to get it done whilst I am 20, otherwise it would have been 25 I believe. Do correct me if I am wrong because I am in no way 100% on that. The speculum used to open my cervix was normal like all the other ones I've seen over all my gynaecologist visits in the past. Once the speculum was in place it felt like a huge gust of wind was going up my... yea you get the mental image... sorry about that... it was time to get the broom up in there. And it was painful, extremely painful. It felt like I was having sex all over again but without the emotional and obvious pleasure side of things. The cramping and jabbing feeling that vibrated all over my pelvis was terror. There was also blood resulting from this which was also what I had sometimes after sex. The nurse said it happened as soon as the 'broom' touched my cervix. Thanks endo, you're the bees knees sometimes. The positive out of that was that I have no trace of cancerous cells or HPV and anything along those lines. I am all squeaky clean, seems like my room is not the only thing that is a result of my OCD. Anyway, for the rest of the night I was crampy and cuddled up with my heat pack and my cat. And maybe some cake. But I'm willing to overlook that concept of my night for emotional stability reasons.

2. My brain is fried. Being in an accelerated course for law is causing my head to hurt quite often. I am studying what others have over the time of 9 months, in only 3. And it is the hardest thing I have ever studied. Ever. It makes me feel like I belong back at college. It's dawning on me that between now and October, when my exams are, I will be in educational, mental turmoil. And then after the exams I will most likely collapse and find somewhere sunny to lay down and have a platter of cinnamon dusted mini doughnuts next to me to lazily reach out and grab whenever my taste buds scream for them. Looks like my summer has been sorted. I felt like a smart ass doing NCEA... law makes me feel like my brain is the size of Homer Simpsons'. *bangs head repeatedly on desk* pray for me people, I'm going to need it.

3. I have a fun ass night coming my way. Now I know it's not for everyone, but karaoke to me is like a haven that needs to be visited extremely often. And I have not done it for over a year so it its going to be epic! I have some portable heat pads that I can stick to my belly and it hides under my clothes (thank you Libra, I love you so much) so I can have a good time without worrying too much about pain. Like, can life get any better right now??

Thats all for now! 

Love Brie xx